Jan is a 38 year old divorced mother of two children, Andy (11 years old) and Joan (9 years old). She has a job as an accountant at a company with 50 employees. She's been divorced for 4 years and Dan sometimes takes the children every other weekend and on Wednesday nights. However he has soften called on Thursday night to tell Jan he can only keep the kids one night or not at all that weekend. He has been especially remiss since he found a new girlfriend. Andy and Joan often blame Jan when Dan doesn't take them.
Jan rushes off to work in the morning and doesn't get home until 5:30 PM. She then cooks dinner for her children and they eat in the living room around 6:30 or 7 PM with the television blaring. After dinner Jan has to clean up and help the kids with their homework. Although they are now able to take their own bath, they often fight and try to stay up late. When they finally turn out the lights, Jan is exhausted from double duty. She certainly is not having fun with the children.
She has gained weight because she gets herself a late snack or a glass of wine to give herself an emotional lift. In addition she has no time for exercise.
She is struggling with overwhelm and exhaustion and wondering, "Why is there no time for me?" She also feels guilty because she doesn't spend quality fun time with her children. When Dan does take the children, he doesn't bother with discipline or good eating habits. When he returns the children they are exhausted and whiny. Because Dan is not dependable as to when he'll take the kids, Jan is afraid to date and make fun plans for herself when he is scheduled for child time. Jan hasn't had sex for over a year and had no real vacation for five years.
Although she's been in therapy before, nothing seems to work.
She feels that something has to change, but she isn't sure what or how. She's wondering, "When is my turn?"
Does this sound familiar to you?
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